Rate "We Don't Do No Ghosts"

On a scale of 1-5, rate "We Don't Do No Ghosts":

  • 5-Perfetc

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • 4-It's a Wonderful Episode

    Votes: 1 100.0%
  • 3-Fine. Fine. Good. Good.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • 2-One for the So-So Corral

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • 1-Not So Great

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    1
****SPOILERS****
I just got done reading this spec script and I really enjoyed it. I could easily envision this as an actual episode. It reminded me of "Plastic Fantastic Lovers" and "Perfetc".

I know that the author says he wrote it in 1986. For me, though, it reads a lot like those Season 5 episodes. The way David asks Maddie to go out to dinner with him. The way she turns him down. The way David tells Maddie that she likes things to be romantic. The way David suggests they use the bedroom. The way Maddie is surprised that he would want to make love even after a murder had just occurred. The near kiss.

To me, it gave off the Season 5 vibe of... "We've been intimate before, but are we gonna go there again or not?", rather than the "Will they, won't they?" vibe of the earlier seasons. Just the way I saw it. But no matter when this would've taken place, it would've made for a real fun episode. No doubt about it.
 
****SPOILERS****
I just got done reading this spec script and I really enjoyed it. I could easily envision this as an actual episode. It reminded me of "Plastic Fantastic Lovers" and "Perfetc".

I know that the author says he wrote it in 1986. For me, though, it reads a lot like those Season 5 episodes. The way David asks Maddie to go out to dinner with him. The way she turns him down. The way David tells Maddie that she likes things to be romantic. The way David suggests they use the bedroom. The way Maddie is surprised that he would want to make love even after a murder had just occurred. The near kiss.

To me, it gave off the Season 5 vibe of... "We've been intimate before, but are we gonna go there again or not?", rather than the "Will they, won't they?" vibe of the earlier seasons. Just the way I saw it. But no matter when this would've taken place, it would've made for a real fun episode. No doubt about it.
I read it too and agree with you. Did it also remind you a little bit of the Poltergeist episode? That's what I kept thinking about while reading it.
 
I read it too and agree with you. Did it also remind you a little bit of the Poltergeist episode? That's what I kept thinking about while reading it.
It did in that it had the whole "haunted house" thing going on. But for me, it really reminded me of "Plastic Fantastic Lovers" with Dr. Hunziger and his butler... I think David kept calling him "Kooky" or something like that. The butler in this was named Wendell, but David kept calling him "Wendy".
 
It did in that it had the whole "haunted house" thing going on. But for me, it really reminded me of "Plastic Fantastic Lovers" with Dr. Hunziger and his butler... I think David kept calling him "Kooky" or something like that. The butler in this was named Wendell, but David kept calling him "Wendy".
Yes! I kind of pictured the butler as the one from PFL. :)
 
Okay, putting aside the elements that clearly foreshadow P3DN and PFL, Marlena's comments about this story's season 5 vibes in terms of David and Maddie's relationship have inspired me go back and really scrutinize all of their lines. In doing so, I have found conclusive evidence that sets it between "Poltergeist III--- Dipesto Nothing" and "Blonde on Blonde."

WENDELL
Oh. I'm sorry. You behave like the married couples I've known.
(beat)
Actually, none of them are married anymore.

DAVID

Well, neither is one of us anymore.

Since "We Don't Do No Ghosts" was copyrighted in 1986, the bolded line can only refer to a certain revelation made in BMOMS. If the story was written later and set in season 5, it would no longer have been just "one of us" who had been married. All evidence points to this story being written in 1986 after BMOMS aired. I would like to attribute the more intimate-feeling moments that David and Maddie share to the closeness they established during "The Lost Year."

Now... why have I set it specifically between "Poltergeist III--- Dipesto Nothing" and "Blonde on Blonde"? Well, in P3DN (which did not premiere until January 1987), David and Maddie uncharacteristically - and immediately - agree NOT to take Mrs. Renbourn's case because her talk of ghosts convinces them that she needs help of a different kind. It must have been the payout Bert and Agnes ended up collecting on that case that opened at least David's mind a bit for this one. And... "We Don't Do No Ghosts" is set before "Blonde on Blonde" because of the combination of the following line and clearly spelled-out Original Series events from BOB to Walter Bishop.

DAVID
How can I?
You won't even let me get under your dress.


So... even though I might have preferred having more time pass between two such "ghostly" stories, I have adjusted the dates and tweaked the following dialogue in "We Don't Do No Ghosts" to address its now-confirmed close, subsequent proximity to "Poltergeist III--- Dipesto Nothing":

INT. DAVID'S OFFICE - DAY
Ms. Dipesto bursts in. David, wearing a stereo headset, is lost in music. Ms. Dipesto hollers.

MS. DIPESTO
Mr. Addison, Mr. Addison, there's ghosts! There's ghosts! GHOSTS!

Bewildered by her presence, David eventually drops his headset and stares at her.

MS. DIPESTO (CONT’D)
There's ghosts! GHOSTS! Mr. Addison, Mr. Addison! We have another call about ghosts!

DAVID
We don't do no ghosts. Again? It must be an ecto-demic.

David pops his headset back over his ears. He notices, though, that Ms. Dipesto is still hanging on the door, staring at him with a begging look. David smugly, slowly removes the headset.

DAVID (CONT’D)
Alright, alright... Agnes, we don't do no ghosts... I can see that, as the superior officer here, I'll have to handle this delicate business situation.



I have also changed the following word to preserve the removed one's impact later on (which, like P3DN, also could not have been known to this story's author)...

This moment shatters his cool facade as he battles his glib behavior and his love feelings for Maddie.


Thanks for reading,
Ryan
 
I would like to attribute the more intimate-feeling moments that David and Maddie share to the closeness they established during "The Lost Year."
I think all the changes you made to the story are perfect. I especially like what you wrote above. During "The Lost Year", Maddie & David were undoubtedly falling more and more in love with each other, though the words were never spoken and their feelings were never defined. Until, of course, Joan Tenowich laid it out for David... plain and simple.
 
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