Rate "Reacquainted"
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FanofMoonlighting
Well-known member
Very good Marlena! It was a good way to get Maddie to come home. I wonder what happens next? Do you think you will write more?
I really enjoyed this story and appreciate every element included in its quest to cleanse all chaos from the second half of season 4.
Any window into David's social life is always welcome, and I sincerely hope we haven't seen the last of Gus, Benny, and Lou of the "Harem Scarem Carpet Cleaners" bowling team. The explanation of the "Twinkle" nickname on David's uniform in "Perfetc" is satisfying and led me to this, and the bowling segment in general nicely anchors the emotionally detached season 5 back into the more heartfelt (if equally misguided) season 4. Although the means by which Maddie is motivated to return to L.A. might feel a bit gimmicky in the hands of a less thoughtful author, the completely random manner in which it occurs makes it all too tragically believable.
Other well-played inclusions were "Nurse Corley", the concept of clean slates, and Maddie's statement abount wishing "every day with my whole heart" that her baby was David's. The Sam Cooke song (and the subtle nod it brings to "Symphony in Knocked Flat") is wonderful, and to give it a listen after the reading is just the icing on the cake.
If there is anything more I could want from this story, it would probably be more densely layered descriptions of the sights, sounds, smells, touches and tastes of everything involved, and perhaps a bit more time spent with Alex and Virginia Hayes. The writing shines during both quiet moments and passages of dialogue between David and Maddie, and I would like to see the peripheral characters explored the same way.
All in all, "Reacquainted" is a wonderful addition to the Moonlighting EU, one that I hope is just the first story of many to be told by its very capable and series-informed/invested author. Nice job!
Any window into David's social life is always welcome, and I sincerely hope we haven't seen the last of Gus, Benny, and Lou of the "Harem Scarem Carpet Cleaners" bowling team. The explanation of the "Twinkle" nickname on David's uniform in "Perfetc" is satisfying and led me to this, and the bowling segment in general nicely anchors the emotionally detached season 5 back into the more heartfelt (if equally misguided) season 4. Although the means by which Maddie is motivated to return to L.A. might feel a bit gimmicky in the hands of a less thoughtful author, the completely random manner in which it occurs makes it all too tragically believable.
Other well-played inclusions were "Nurse Corley", the concept of clean slates, and Maddie's statement abount wishing "every day with my whole heart" that her baby was David's. The Sam Cooke song (and the subtle nod it brings to "Symphony in Knocked Flat") is wonderful, and to give it a listen after the reading is just the icing on the cake.
If there is anything more I could want from this story, it would probably be more densely layered descriptions of the sights, sounds, smells, touches and tastes of everything involved, and perhaps a bit more time spent with Alex and Virginia Hayes. The writing shines during both quiet moments and passages of dialogue between David and Maddie, and I would like to see the peripheral characters explored the same way.
All in all, "Reacquainted" is a wonderful addition to the Moonlighting EU, one that I hope is just the first story of many to be told by its very capable and series-informed/invested author. Nice job!
Marlena
Well-known member
I wanted to thank everyone who read my first Moonlighting fanfic story, 'Reacquainted'. I really enjoyed reading all the reviews, especially yours, Boink. I felt like I wrote a book and you were leaving me a review in the newspaper, it was so detailed!
For those of you who read it shortly after I first posted it, you may be interested to know that I have since pulled a "Glenn Caron", and made some last minute changes. I don't know if doing that goes against all the rules of writing and posting fan fiction, but I'm new at this, and I just had to make these changes. I'm much more happy with the version that is online now. Some were just minor grammatical or timeline corrections, but I also changed/added some dialog between Maddie and David. In particular, I gave David more of a chance to express his anger towards Maddie for leaving him.
I had so much fun writing this story that I can't wait to write another. I already have at least 6 new story ideas that I'm considering. And Boink, one of them does involve Benny and the rest of David's bowling buddies.
For those of you who read it shortly after I first posted it, you may be interested to know that I have since pulled a "Glenn Caron", and made some last minute changes. I don't know if doing that goes against all the rules of writing and posting fan fiction, but I'm new at this, and I just had to make these changes. I'm much more happy with the version that is online now. Some were just minor grammatical or timeline corrections, but I also changed/added some dialog between Maddie and David. In particular, I gave David more of a chance to express his anger towards Maddie for leaving him.
I had so much fun writing this story that I can't wait to write another. I already have at least 6 new story ideas that I'm considering. And Boink, one of them does involve Benny and the rest of David's bowling buddies.
MoonlightingMagic
Well-known member
Great Great!
I think it's safe to say that we all share your excitement and love that you're writing again!I'm very excited! My muse came to me tonight and got me started writing my next story. I know it will take me a while, but I just love that I'm writing again
Davidsmaddie
Active member
Marlena, this was awesome! I love how you approached this. I always felt like they never used the “Rita Thing” in a way they could have. Maddie finding out about it and having it be a thing would level the playing field between them in a way, and there wouldn’t be the need for the extra contrived conflict of Walter.
Anyway, great writing and I loved the story and read into the characters. Great job!-Dana
Anyway, great writing and I loved the story and read into the characters. Great job!-Dana
FanofMoonlighting
Well-known member
It was really funny!
Marlena
Well-known member
Dana, I was so thrilled when I saw your message. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and for letting me know you liked it! You made my day!
