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Thursday, March 10, 1988

"Maddie, I know you wanted to sort through all this..."

David never gets to finish this sentence as he bursts through the doors of her bedroom. He stops dead in his tracks, surveying the clothes strewn about the chair of her dressing table and the open suitcase on her bed, overstuffed with clothes.

"David!" Maddie exclaims as she slides open the pocket door and exits her bathroom. "What are you doing here?"

"Just about to ask you the same question," David sneers as he glances over to the suitcase on her bed.

Maddie's eyes fill up with tears. "David, please!? Don't. I can't go eight rounds with you today."

David, still in the doorway of Maddie's bedroom, walks slowly towards her. "What's with all this? Maddie, what's going on?"

Maddie, looking utterly exhausted and pale, motions with her hand to stop. "David, I told you; I need to think. I'm confused. I have a lot to sort out, and I can't do that here."

David ignores her motion and tenderly puts his hands on her arms, "Maddie, what are you confused about? I love you. I think you love me." He shakes his head and continues, "What is it...?" David's voice trails off, and then, after a long pause whispers, "Talk to me."

Maddie, pushing away, "I can't. I can't think with you here. You don't understand."

David, pulling her closer. "Make me understand!"

Maddie dramatically extracts herself from David's embrace. "This! I have to get away from this! We are like two magnets, and I don't like how helpless I feel."

She sits down on the chair near the foot of her bed. Now, from a safe distance away, Maddie continues, "David, I know you're trying to help. And I know this seems terribly unfair. I wish it was as easy for me as it is for you - but it's not. The last six weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions for me. I don't have the words to describe how I have been feeling. And yes, some of those feelings, maybe most of them, have been about you - but not all of them. I'm so confused about what's going on with me, the direction of my life. I wasn't given the opportunity to choose for myself before, you know, with Sam, so I am taking that opportunity now. I know this is a big ask, but if you love me like you say you do, you'll give me this space."

David is taken aback, retaining none of Maddie's words except for one. - "Sam?"

"This is still about Sam? What, are you going back to him?"

Maddie Is exasperated. "David! It's not about a choice between you and him. THAT is one thing I am sure about, I don't want to marry Sam. But - I do want more with my life, about what he was offering."

Maddie looks down at her feet and starts to cry. "I don't know what this is, but I need more. I just can't define what more is yet. That's why I need to get away and think."

David kneels before Maddie and wipes a tear from her cheek. "I can give you more, Maddie. I WANT to give you more! How can I make you understand?"

He lets out a big sigh, covering his face with his hands.

Then, as if he's received a revelation, he lifts his head and takes Maddie's hands in his.

Gently, David continues," You want more Maddie? You've got it. You've got my everything."

Maddie looks into David's wild green eyes, glistening with his own tears and shining bright like diamonds.

"Marry me."

Maddie didn't know it until she heard those two words slip past his lips, but they made her heart leap for joy. Oh, how she wanted to exclaim "yes!" to his proposal! In a way, that would calm her restless heart and give her the "more" she was aching for.

But simultaneously, she felt guilt and shame, because she had a sinking suspicion that something was on the horizon that would change how David felt about her forever.

In that moment, Maddie needed to be anywhere else besides right there, staring into David Addison's soul, the air thick with his proposal.